


When the sun shines again

by Happy_pink_pony



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Description of blood, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mpreg!verse, Sad, Sensitive subjects, Slice of Life, Smut, cop!Rin, cop!Sousuke, kindergardenteathcer!haru, kindergardenteathcer!makoto, m-preg, starts shit but its good now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2018-07-18 21:11:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7330804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Happy_pink_pony/pseuds/Happy_pink_pony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin comes home from Australia with some devastating news, not knowing that Haru is waiting at home with some news of his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Rin" Haru whispered as if afraid of the silence between them. They were alone for the time after not seeing each other for weeks. Haru should have kissed him welcome home and Rin should laugh and tell stories, but he didn't. Rin hadn't said a word. He had walked into the living room where Haru stood and embraced him. 

That was 10 minutes ago. Haru was getting scared. He could feel Rin's heartbeat in the tight embrace and it wasn’t slowing down. With much work Haru struggled to get his arms out of the tight embrace and placed his hands on either side of Rin’s face.

“What’s wrong?” Haru asked his voice filled with concern. Rin met his eyes and broke down in tears. His arms feel down his sides and his knees buckled under.

“Lori and Russel the-” He sobbed, covering his face with his hands like he was hiding.

“They’re dead.”

Haru kneeled down in front of him. He wrapped his fingers around Rin’s wrists and gently forced his hands away from his face. Haru wiped Rin’s tear-stained cheeks with his thumbs. He didn’t know what to say, so he leaned forward so their foreheads were touching. They sat like this for a while. Rin sobbing, Haru not knowing what to do or say. Slowly, but after some time the sobbing became quiet, his heartbeat returned to normal and he placed his hands on top of Haru's. When he opened his eyes he gazed into worried sea blue eyes. Haru was afraid to ask, but did anyway.

"Rin," He was still whispering, "what happened?" Rin didn't answer. He pushed himself off the floor and walked to the bathroom with heavy steps and closed the door behind him. Haru still sat on the floor stared after him, in the air he was only a few seconds ago. After a few minutes he heard the water turn on and saw it as his cue to get off the floor as well.

When Rin walked out of the bathroom, he smelled it instantly. Steak. Haru was truly worried. When they had moved in together, they had agreed mackerel was only to be served on Wednesdays, Sundays and special occasions. That day was a Wednesday. Mackerel day, but Haru was definitely cooking steak.

Rin walked into the kitchen with a towel around his neck. When he met Haru's eyes again, the world froze. Rin barely blinked before the towel was on the ground, replaced by Haru's arms. Rin wrapped his arms Haru's waist and hugged him back. This felt good. The last embrace was a necessity, protection. This was a hug. Warm and loving.

"I'm sorry," Haru muttered, his head resting on Rin's still damp shoulder. "Isn't that what you're supposed to say in a situation like this?" It was a sad attempt at a joke, but it made Rin snort out a choked laugh, so it was worth it.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He stroked his back like he had seen Sousuke do to Makoto when he had failed his exam the first time. Only this wasn't just an exam. This wasn't something you could do over again in a few months. This was forever. And it hurt much more.

"Can we talk about it over dinner?" Rin asked somberly. Haru just nodded. Rin sat down at the table as Haru finished cooking the steaks. Haru put the plates on the table and Rin immediately dug in. Of course, he'd been on a plane for 10 hours and after moving in with Haru he could barely look at plane food without thinking of how much better it would taste if Haru made it.

"It happened about a week ago," Rin started, still looking down at his plate. "They were driving up the highway an-" Rin's voice broke. He couldn't go through this again. Haru reached across the table and took his hand, reminding him that he was there for him. Rin gathered up all his courage and tried again.

"They were driving down the highway and some idiot ghost driver ran into them." Rin was squeezing Haru's hand hard. Rin was starting to get angry.

"They died because some fucking idiot was so high on drugs he couldn't tell which side was the right fucking side!" Rin yelled, his breathing was heavy again and he could feel his heart running laps in his chest, when felt Haru's arms around him again. He immediately calmed down again.

"I'm sorry," Rin whispered afraid that if he raised his voice he would end up yelling again.

"It's okay," Haru said, stroking his hair. "You're gonna be okay."

They cleaned up their dinner in silence. Later in the evening they found some mindless tv-show to watch. They didn't talk much. Haru sat between Rin's legs like he always did, head on his shoulder with Rin's arm around his chest. When the last episode of whatever had been watching ended, Haru was brought out of his thoughts by the low vibrating sounds of Rin’s snoring. Haru looked at his beloved boyfriend and smiled softly, then looked down at his own stomach.

"We'll find another time to tell him." Haru mumbled. He placed a kiss on Rin's neck and closed his eyes to join him in the land of sleep. Tomorrow would bring a new day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter were in which Haru thinks back to his smexy night with Rin and finds a way to tell him about the news. Warning: smut

_"Haru," Rin whispered in his ear. He was thrusting slowly into Haru, making him adjust to the pain and pleasure. Rin was going away for three weeks and he didn't want Haru to feel neglected, so he had promised him to fuck him enough to last weeks._

_Rin leaned down further to lick the dip in Haru's collarbones, which earned him a low moan from the raven-haired man under him. He continued up, kissing every inch of skin from his lovers collarbones, up his neck; he paused to suck on his Adam's apple, leaving behind a purple bruise. When he reached his lips, he gave him a quick peck. He lifted his hand from the mattress and pushed a strand of hair out Haru's blushing face._

_"You're so beautiful." He said, leaning down again, this time to capture his lips in a deep and passionate kiss. As the kiss got more heated, so did Rin's thrusting. He wrapped his hand around Haru's hard cock, spreading precum all over it before pumping him sweetly. Haru's moans became high-pitched and bounced off the walls of the dimly lit room._

_"Rin, I-I'm gonna a- " He lost the words. White hot bliss flowing through him as he clenched around Rin in his sweet, sweet orgasm. Rin came hard inside Haru, thrusting blindly as he rode out his orgasm. Panting and sweating they found each other’s mouths again. The kiss was wet, lazy and the beginning of a new round._

_This continued throughout the entire night, into the early hours of morning till they nearly passed out due to pure exhaustion and bliss._

**

Rin woke up on the couch with a sleeping Haru on top of him. He smiled. It had been a while since they had last fallen asleep on the couch together. The sun was peeking through the windows, lighting up the small living room. Quietly, as he sat with his lover asleep in his arms, thinking of the little home they had built, everything seemed perfect. Until he remembered what had happened in Australia.

They were gone. Russel and Lori were gone and they weren't coming back. Just like his dad. Rin's thoughts spiraled down a dark path after that. Everyone around him was slowly disappearing. Who would be next? His mom? Please, God no, she was the only parent he had left. Gou? No, not his sweet innocent little sister.

Haru? He didn’t even dare to think about that. Haru was his world. He couldn't believe how this beautiful human being of a person would choose him. But he did and he would forever love him for it.

"Rin?" Haru yawned and stretched in Rin's hold.

"Hey babe." Rin let out a relieved sigh, happy that his sunshine pulled him out of his dark thoughts.

"How are you holding up?" Haru sounded worried, but calmer than he had last night.

"I'm doing okay, I guess." He didn't really know how he felt, but he didn't want Haru to worry about it. He knew Haru didn't know how to feel either. He wasn't good with emotions, especially others’. Plus, after three weeks away from him, Rin was starting to miss his snarky comments and minimalistic facial expressions.

Rin leaned down to press a sloppy good morning kiss on Haru's check. Haru wiped his cheek with the back of his hand before mumbling something about Rin's bad breath as he stumbled to the bathroom.

Yup. Rin thought, he's back to his usual self. Rin finally got off the couch after responding to a few texts from the guys, saying that yes, he did come home safely and yes Makoto he has eaten after getting off the plane. He stretched as he walked to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. As he was pouring himself a mug, he heard the door to the bathroom open. He took a sip of coffee and turned around to face who was a bit pale. Rin swallowed his coffee and sat the mug down on the counter.

"Haru, are you okay?" He asked. "You look a bit pale." Rin moved to feel his forehead, but Haru dodged his hand and said he was fine. But then he felt it again. He ran from the kitchen with Rin in his heels to the bathroom, where he threw himself on the floor in front of the toilet before he emptied whatever was left in his stomach. He flushed the toilet and fell back on the cool tiled floor.

Rin sat down next to Haru. He was toxic to everyone he was around. First his dad, then Russel and Lori and now Haru. This couldn't be happening. "I didn't want you to find out this way." Haru sounded like he had completely given up on life.

"I had a whole list of things I wanted to say before this." Rin was on the edge of tears. He didn't want this to happen. He wanted to grow old with him, tell their grandkids the story of how they met, feed ducks and all that stuff old people do in movies.

"Please don't leave me." Rin spilled out and took Haru's hand in his own. Haru stared at him extremely confused.

"Rin, I'm not gonna leave you. I'm just pregnant." Rin's heart skipped a beat. "Pregnant?" He asked. Haru nodded. "You're pregnant. You're pregnant! Fuck you're pregnant!" Rin was completely beside himself with joy. He helped Haru off the floor so he could lift him and spin around with him. He couldn't stop grinning, he was over the moon. After listening to a few complaints from Haru, he put him down.

"I thought you were gonna leave me too." He blundered out.

"Rin, I will never leave you, okay? I love you." Haru assured him.

"I love you too." He said as he leaned in for a passionate kiss with the man he loved, who now also was carrying their first child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I just uploaded the first chapter an hour ago, but whatevs!! Was the smut okay? Did my ace brain do good about the sexy thing? If anyone has ideas or comments please leave a comment, or if you're shy I'm thatssosuperfunny on Tumblr - Pink pony


	3. Chapter 3

Rin couldn’t stop smiling. He was slowly lingering from side to side with his little baby cradled in his arms. Across the room Haru was taking a well-deserved nap. Poor thing had been in labor for hours. Rin walked over to the bed where his boyfriend was sleeping and sat down in the foot end. Rin suddenly felt something wet and warm against his thigh, then he heard Haru whimper in pain. He shot up from the bed.

“WE NEED A DOCTOR IN HERE!” He yelled. “Haru, look at me. It’s gonna be okay, okay? You’re gonna be fine.” He assured the raven-haired man before the doctors entered the room and pushed him away.

The atmosphere grew panicking and the baby started crying. Rin was trying to comfort the baby whilst trying to see what was going on with Haru. The baby’s cries grew louder. Rin paced from one side of the bed to be other again and again, but he couldn’t see anything at all. He paused in front of the bed trying calming the baby again, when he heard it. A loud long bib. Everyone went silent, even the baby.

“Time of death 9:47 pm.” No. This couldn’t be real.

“Haru?” Rin’s voice was shaking. “Babe? This can’t be real, right? The baby’s finally here, you can’t leave us now. Haru? Haru please?” Rin was begging, tears streaming down his face.

As Rin continued begging for his love to come back, a nurse placed a hand on his shoulder. He turned around at the shock of being touched. She reached out her arms, offering to hold the baby. Rin tried taking a step back, but he was trapped between the nurse and the bed.

“Give me the baby.” She said in sickening sugar sweet voice.

“What? No.” What was going on? He looked down at his arms to find that the baby had disappeared and reappeared in the arms of the nurse.

“You clearly aren’t suited to be a father,” she continued. “Everyone around you dies. You’re toxic.”

“Stop it.”

“Your dad.”

“Stop it.”

“Lori and Russel.”

“Stop it.”

“And now Haru. Poor, sweet, innocent Haru. He would have been better off without you. If it hadn’t been for your desires to have a child, he would still be alive.” Rin’s head was about to explode. “You need to wake up Rin. It would be so much better if you weren’t here. Wake up, Rin.”

Rin woke heaving and bathed in sweat. He was in bed. Haru was staring at him more worried than Rin had ever seen him.

Rin reached out for Haru and pulled him into a hug. He nuzzled his head in the crook of Haru’s neck, breathing him in. Haru didn’t say anything. He calmed his fingers through the crimson locks of his lover’s damp hair, something that always managed to calm him down.

“Bad dream?” Haru asked. He felt Rin nod against his neck.

Rin had been having a lot of bad dreams lately. It had been two months since he had come home from Australia. During the day, he felt good and had gone back full time at the police, but at night, it still haunted him.

“Was it the ocean or the highway?” Haru asked when Rin calmed down again.

“Neither. This was new.” Rin explained. “We were at the hospital after the baby was born. We were so happy, but then yo-“ His voiced cracked, being forced to relive it. “You started bleeding and you were in pain, but the doctors couldn’t do anything and then you – you died. And they took the baby. I tried waking you up, but you didn’t wa-“ Rin tried to finish his sentence, but once again his voice broke and the tears were streaming down his cheeks.

Haru held his sobbing boyfriend. The pregnancy hadn’t been making this easier. They still hadn’t told their friends. They had passed off his tiredness with Rin’s bad dreams and the all mood swings and hormones would be blamed on his job at the kindergarten. But Haru would start showing a lot more soon and it couldn’t just be covered by loose shirts anymore.

“It’s gonna be okay Rin. We’re gonna be okay.” Haru was running out of things to say by now. If he could, he would remove everything that triggered Rin, but he knew that the world doesn’t work like that.

“We’re gonna tell them tomorrow at Sousuke and Makoto’s, okay? Then you’ll have one less thing to worry about.” Haru promised him. Maybe it would take some of the pressure off Rin’s shoulders if he knew the others would be there to help in case something went wrong.

Rin straightened his back and looked into Haru’s deep sea blue eyes. He leaned forward and touched foreheads with Haru. This had been hard on him too.  
“I love you forever and ever.” Rin said with a cheesy smile on his face. Haru rolled his eyes and lay down again to sleep. Rin lay down behind him bringing Haru’s back to rest against his chest.

“I love you forever and ever too.” Haru whispered in the darkness, only to hear a loud snore from his boyfriend behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the chapters will start being longer soon, I just had to get the story up and running first. Also thank you to Clofix, without you I wouldn't have realized that I shouldn't post chapters at 2 am - Pink Pony


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Haru and Rin tell Sousuke and Makoto they're expecting

“Rin? Yo Rin, you’re spacing out again.” Sousuke said, waving a hand in front of Rin’s face to get his attention.

“Sorry, I was spacing, what did you say?” He hadn’t heard a word of what Sousuke had said. Sousuke sighed, though he was slightly annoyed about Rin’s habit of zoning out, he was happy that Rin had stopped looking somber whilst doing it.

“I asked where you wanted to go for lunch?” Sousuke repeated as he turned the key and started the car.

“Oh, I don’t care, you pick something.” Rin answered.

They had just held a presentation at one of the local high schools about responsible drinking and walking in groups at night. Though the crime in their small town had fallen lately, it couldn’t hurt to be on the safe side.

“You have that stupid grin on your face again.” Sousuke broke the comfortable silence in the car. “What are you thinking about?” He shifted his gaze from the road to Rin to make sure he had his attention before looking back to the road.

“Haru” Rin felt himself smile even more like some school girl. He often caught himself thinking about his raven-haired love, but after finding out he was pregnant, every second his mind wandered into a trail of thought mostly consisting of baby names, small clothes and tiny furniture.

“Yeah, Makoto mentioned he has been feeling a little ill lately.” Sousuke recalled Makoto telling him a few times a week for the last month or so.

“Yeah.” Rin didn’t say anything. He and Haru were going to tell them later tonight. He already felt relieved just by thinking about it. He had always been very protective of Haru and after finding out he was carrying their child, he found himself not even letting him lift heavy things. I’m just pregnant, it’s not like it’s eating my capability to lift things, Haru told him earlier that morning. Thinking about it made him chuckle lightly in the passenger seat just as Sousuke pulled out to a nice little sandwich café he and Makoto often visited.

**

“Haru! I’m home!” Rin yelled when he walked through the front door to their apartment.

“You don’t have to yell, our apartment’s tiny.” Haru greeted him after pressing a kiss to his cheek. But that wasn’t enough for Rin. He wrapped his arms around Haru’s waist and pulled him as close to himself as he could. It was starting to get quite difficult to stand so close, as Haru’s baby bump was starting to get bigger.

Rin leaned forward to press his lips against to Haru’s. Haru lifted his arms to rest on Rin’s shoulders, tangling a hand in the crimson locks. It was passionate whilst still being loving and calm. He hadn’t been kissed like this in a while. Despite Rin’s nightmare last night, Haru was really starting to feel like he’d gotten the man he loved back. They pulled apart from the kiss, looking deep into each other’s eyes.

“How was your day?” Rin asked, sliding his hands into the back pockets of Haru’s jeans and cupped his ass.

“It was fine,” he said. “Simon made me a drawing and Mary asked Makoto to marry him.” Rin laughed, thinking about the tall brunette leaving Sousuke for a 4-year old. Makoto hadn’t had the heart to say no, he was too nice.

“How was yours, caught any criminals?” Haru teased.

“We held a meeting about responsible drinking at the school, then one about safer streets for teachers and parents and gave out a few speeding tickets.” He ended by kissing Haru on the nose.

“Keeping our streets safe and taking care of the future generation.” Haru summarized and made Rin chuckle.

“The future generation and the future future generation.” He placed his hands on Haru’s bump. The baby was still much too small to be able to kick or even feel alive, but Rin didn’t care he knew it was in there. It made him feel all fuzzy inside when he looked into Haru’s calm blue eyes.

“I’m just gonna change real quick and then we can head off.” He connected their lips again, though not for so long this time since they had to be at Sousuke and Makoto’s in 15 minutes.

**

Their hands clasped together and with fingers intertwined, Rin and Haru walked from their small apartment to Makoto’s parents’ house. His parents had taken Ren and Ran on a vacation and Makoto, being the perfect son he was, had offered to take care of the house for them. It had been Sousuke’s idea to have the rest of their group over for dinner, since they now had a garden and BBQ grill available.

When Rin and Haru arrived, they knocked on the door and walked inside the house.

“Makoto we’re here.” Haru raised his voice to let the other couple know they were there. They took off their shoes and continued inside. Makoto was in the kitchen chopping up some vegetables for a salad when Haru joined him.

“Hey Haru, feeling better?” Makoto immediately asked his best friend. Haru had felt a bit weird earlier at work and Makoto had been very worried about him.

“Yeah.” It itched in Haru to tell the brunette that he was pregnant, but he had promised Rin they’d tell them together. “Where are Nagisa and Rei?” He changed the subject to avoid any further temptation telling Makoto, plus, he hadn’t seen them in the living room when he passed through it. Even if they were making out somewhere out of site, Haru was sure Nagisa would have tackled either him or Rin already.

“Their flight got canceled and canceled again, so they decided to extend their stay a bit.” Makoto moved to the sink to set the dirty dishware before he turned to look at Haru, who just nodded a bit. He wasn’t surprised.

Rei and Nagisa recently got engaged and were now up country visiting Rei’s family. Most people would dread an extra couple of days with their in-laws, but Nagisa Hazuki wasn’t most people and loved Rei’s parents as much as his own.

“Dinner’s ready!” Sousuke yelled from the garden. Makoto grabbed four plates in the cabinet above the sink and Haru took the large salad bowl as the two went through the house into the garden.

The late summer sun was still warm and low in the sky. A table was set up on the porch, pastel colored lanterns hung from the old oak tree and fairly light was tangled around the bushes nearest the table.

When Rin saw Haru carrying the large salad bowl, he flew to his side offering to take it, but Haru told him he could handle it. Haru sat the bowl on the table as Sousuke stepped up behind Makoto wrapping his arms around the smaller man’s waist and kissed him on the cheek.

“Looks good Mako.” He told his giggling boyfriend and they all sat down at the table.

“Itadakimasu!” They said in synchronization before they dug in.

They spent dinner talking about work at the police and the kindergarten; that was until Makoto brought up Hinata from work.

“Hinata’s apparently coming back to work on Monday. It’s been a while, but she did have a hard pregnancy.” Makoto said calmly before Rin almost choked on his water. He coughed a few times and drank a bit more to cool the scratch in his throat.

Rin and Haru looked at each other. Haru could tell how much Rin was burning just as much as Haru was to tell their friends. Haru gave the redhead a slight nod and took his hand under table.

“Guys we have something to tell you,” Rin said, a giant smile was already on his lips.

“Well, are you gonna tell us or are just gonna sit there and grin like an idiot.” Sousuke teased.

“Haru’s pregnant.” It felt like a brick was lifted off Haru’s chest.

“Really ?” Makoto looked at the raven; his eyes glittered with happiness when Haru nodded.

“That’s amazing.” Sousuke said as he got up from his seat to hug Rin. Makoto couldn’t keep still and got up to hug Haru even though he knew that Haru didn’t like hugs other than from Rin, Haru let him plus this wasn’t extremely uncomfortable.

“I’m gonna get a bottle of wine.” Sousuke announced after the hug parade was over. “Nanase, you want anything else?”

“Mackerel.” He said out flat as the rest of the group just laughed at him.

When they sat at the table again Rin put his arm around Haru’s waist and pulled him closer. As the night was drifting to an end Haru and Rin bid their friends goodbye and headed on home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK!!!!!! I'm so sorry this it's been so long since I updated. I broke up with my boyfriend, helped my sister move and started on a whole new school where I don't know anybody, but hey it's a long-ish chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

It was a cloudy day. Rain threatened to fall from the sky any minute. It was a relatively cold for a day in early September, but the kids at Seaside Daycare didn’t give it a thought as they ran around on the playground. Haru stood near the sandbox in case someone fell of the monkey bars. There was always one who did.

As he watched the kids play, he started to thinking about how his own kid would be. Would they be an outgoing and smiling kid like Rin? Or would they be more quiet and private like he himself had was? A bell ring brought him out of his train of thought.

“Okay kids, it’s lunch time.” Haru heard Makoto yell as the kids started to walk inside.

*

After the kids had sung their lunch song and eaten their lunches, they went back to playing. Makoto and a few of the other kindergarten teachers went with most of the kids outside again whilst Haru stayed inside with a couple of kids. Five kids, Haru noted to himself. Rule number one “at least one teacher per sixth kid.” He sat down at one the drawing tables and started doodling and as children do, they all sat down at the table with him.

“Haruka-senpai?” A high-pitched voice asked. Haru looked up to find Simon staring at him with his big brown puppy dog eyes.

“Yes Simon.” He responded bluntly. Luckily, the kids knew his cold tone wasn’t to be taken seriously, so the 4-year old went on.

“Do you have a wife?” Simon asked with wonder and Haru couldn’t help but softening a smile at the young boy

. “No Simon, I don’t have a wife. I have a boyfriend.” Haru was glad that he could be public about his relationship with Rin. He had been slightly nervous when they had gone to the employee Christmas party a few years back, but everyone had been open-minded and nice about it.

“Do you love him?” Simon asked again. This kid surely would become a great charmer one day.

“Yes, I do.” Haru smiled at Simon who then dropped the topic, turning his attention to the rainbow hippo he was drawing.

I love him forever and ever.

*

Haru struggled to balance the bag of groceries on his arm and find his keys in his pockets. He finally managed to wiggle them up, unlocked the door and unload in the kitchen. The apartment was quiet. Haru liked it that way. He liked all the kids and he enjoyed working with his best friend, but he did miss the silence of being alone.

Haru took the milk and butter out to put it in the fridge when he noticed a note hanging on it.

_Will be working late tonight_

_Rin_

Haru read the note then proceeded to put the groceries away. He was used to Rin working nights so it wasn’t a big deal for him to eat dinner by himself.

*

Haru trotted around the apartment an hour or so cleaning up a little here and there when he remembered they still hadn’t told Rei and Nagisa about Haru being pregnant. Actually, they hadn’t told anybody since Sousuke and Makoto. They should properly do that soon, though. Nagisa would explode if he heard it from someone else first, although the blond would probably be over excited anyway.

Around six, Haru started to make dinner, mackerel and cooked rice of course. After dinner, he took a long bath since he hadn't had time to shower this morning and he needed to feel the water after such a long day.

Haru flopped onto his and Rin’s bed completely exhausted even though it was barely ten. He closed his eyes thinking about if Rin would be there when he woke up, holding him in his arms like he always does. That was the last thought Haru had before his tiredness took over and he fell peacefully asleep.

Haru jolted from the bed when he was suddenly awoken from his sleep. His phone was ringing, he looked at the alarm clock, 3 am. Who would call him at 3am unless it was…

He didn’t want to finish that thought, grabbing his phone inhumanly fast.

“Hello?” His voice was rough from sleeping.

“Haru you gotta come down to the hospital.” “Souske?” He was getting nervous now.

“What’s going on? Did something happen?”

“Rin got shot.” It sounded like Sousuke was running. “I’ll explain later just get down here now.”

The phone slid from Haru’s hand as he sat in shock. Rin got shot? But they lived in a small beach town, how could it happen? Was he okay?

He hurried putting on some pants, threw on some shoes and ran like a mad man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh I'm so bad, being away this long and ending it like this. Sorry it's so short


	6. Chapter 6

He bolted through the streets as fast as his legs could carry him. He had to get to the hospital now. There had been few times in his life where Haru had found himself nervous let alone worried. Now he was downright terrified.

Rin was the love of his life, he always has been. Haru still remembered the first day they met. Rin had always been the romantic one, he loved to talk about how struck he was the first time he saw Haru swim in that middle school swim class, or how in awe he was by his beauty when they had met again that rainy day 6 years ago. Haru didn’t like talking about his emotions as much as Rin did, Haru knew how he felt and so did Rin. It was only now Haru realized how nice it would have been to truly tell Rin how he felt, one last time. No, he couldn’t think like that.

Haru ran until his lungs were burning, his legs were starting to hurt, but finally the hospital was in sight. He stepped up using whatever oxygen was left in his lungs and busted through the door at full speed, almost colliding with the front desk.

“Rin,” he coughed out as he was fighting for breath. “Rin Matsuoka, where is he?”  
“He’s in room 507, the doctor should be with him now.” The man sitting at the desk informed him offering Haru a sympathetic look, but he didn’t noticed, he was already running again.

He checked down the corridors as he searched the hospital for section 5 room 7, when his eyes fell on a tall man in a police uniform. Sousuke. 

“Sousuke!” Haru called and ran over to the man. “Is he okay? What happened? Where’s –“

“The doctor is with him now.” Sousuke’s deep voice cut him off. Normally, Haru would have snapped at him for interrupting, but he said nothing as the tall man continued. “We were called to a nightclub. Two guys got into a fight over a girl, we were just supposed to break them up, maybe take them down to the station. When we came down there the place was a giant fight. I was calling for backup when some idiot pulled out a gun.” Sousuke swallowed heavily and looked down to the floor, not meeting Haru’s desperate eyes. “He took a hit to the upper body. I don’t know where exactly. I just found him bleeding on the floor. The ambulance came as quickly as possible.”

The silence was deafening. Haru couldn’t believe it, he wouldn’t, but all his mind could do was picture Rin lying on the floor, cold and motionless in a pool of blood. Haru was horrified. He hurriedly turned around when he heard the door to the room being opened. He hoped it was Rin coming through the door, he prayed that Rin would smile and tell him he was fine and he begged Rin was alive. But it wasn’t Rin who stepped out through the door, it was the doctor.

“How’s he doing?” Sousuke asked, his voice shaking slightly. Haru averted his eyes to the doctor silently pleading the man.

“He was very lucky.” The doctor started. Haru let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “The bullet grazed his upper arm leaving a deep cut. An inch to the left and he could’ve lost his whole arm. We patched him up and he’ll have to wear a sling till it’s healed.”

Tears were running down Haru’s cheeks. Rin was alive. Rin was okay. The doctor told Haru and Sousuke that they’d keep Rin for the night for observation, but that they were welcome to stay with him. Rin should still be awake, but it would only be a matter of time before the calming medication he’d been given would kick in.

“So can I see him now?” Haru asked the doctor, having calmed down a bit, but still rather anxious.

“Just try not to jostle him too much.” And with that, Haru flew through the door.

Rin was lying on a white bed with his eyes closed. He almost looked dead as pale as he was, but Haru could see his chest slowly rising and falling. Rin was an IV drop in his left arm, his right arm was bandaged up and resting in a sling.

Haru sat down in the chair next to his resting lover and reached out his hand to smoothen the fiery looks. Upon the caring touch Rin started to stir and slowly forced his eyes open. His crimson red eyes found Haru’s deep blue ones and he felt the corners of his lips tucking into a small smile.

“Hey.” Haru said, not expecting much of a conversation in return.

“Hey.” Rin said back, he felt Haru taking his hand in his own and Rin squeezed Haru’s hand and intertwined their fingers.

“I love you so much.” Haru whispered as tears started to pool in his eyes again. “I’ve loved you from the first time I saw you.” The tears were threatening to fall. “I know I don’t say it as much as you, but I do, I love you forever and ever.” His voice quivered as drops of water fell on their intertwined hands.

“Hey, hey.” Rin’s voice was rough and unused. “What’s gotten into you? I’m usually the one to cry.” He chuckled trying to lighten the mood a little.

“I don’t want to live without you.” Haru told him honestly, not wanting to hold anything back.

“And you’re not going to.” Rin reassured him. He let go off Haru’s hand and rested it against his cheek. Haru leaned into the touch, never had such a small gesture meant so much.

“I’m gonna be back to normal in a few month's time, Rei and Nagisa are getting married, we have a kid on the way.” Rin started stroking Haru’s wet cheek with his thumb. “I’m not going anywhere.” He pulled Haru down to meet his lips. The kiss was slow and gentle, Rin exhausted and Haru afraid to do something wrong.  
“Everything is perfect.” Rin sighed staring into Haru’s deep sea eyes.

“You call almost losing your arm perfect?” Haru asked dryly.

“There he is.” Rin said with a smile playing in his voice.

“I love you Rin.”

“I love you too Haru.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See I'm not heartless. Of course I was gonna let him live, I would never hurt my children just slightly scare them a little.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will mainly be focusing on Sousuke and Makoto

Sousuke unlocked the door to the apartment he shared with Makoto, trying to be as quiet as possible. He sat with Haru and Rin until Rin’s medicine kicked, after that he’d said his goodbyes to the raven and went home.

He had decided to walk home and gather his thoughts. His best friend got shot, his best friend almost lost his arm in trying to save a stranger and his best friend had a baby on the way. What did he have? He had the same job he has had for 7 years, lived in the same apartment he’d rented since he was 19 and Makoto. He loved Makoto. He was going to marry him one day and have children and grandchildren and grow old and have gross old man sex. He was going to be happy with Makoto. He was.

The sun was packing its peak over the horizon, starts still visible on the black blue sky above when Sousuke reached their apartment. He stepped inside quietly hoping to just get out of his clothes and slip into bed with Makoto, but apparently fate had other plans for him and when he sat down his foot to take a step the floorboards creaked like in a cliché horror movie.

“Sou?” Makoto’s voice came from the bedroom. “Sou, is that you?” Makoto stumbled out of the bedroom into the hall, he was dressed in Sousuke’s old college sweater and had the sleeves clutched in his hands.

Sousuke pulled Makoto by the shoulders into a hug, not saying anything just holding the brunette as close as he could.  
“Sou, what’s wrong?” Makoto’s voice was laced with worry and concern, but the taller man still hadn’t uttered a word. “Sousuke, what’s going o-“

“I love you.” Sousuke said, pulling back in the embrace to look into his lover’s forest green eyes. “Rin got shot.” He continued bluntly.

“Oh my god! Is he-“

“He’s fine, it’s just a flesh wound. Haru is with him at the hospital,” he explained quickly, wanting to get it out of the way before he got down to what he really wanted to say. “and I love you.”

“I love you too, but-“

“Makoto.” Strong confidence in his voice. “I know you’re worried about our friends, but I need you to listen to me.” He placed his hands on either side of the brunette’s face and looked deep into his eyes. “I love you and I will do everything in my power to make you happy because you have make me so happy every single day and I want to marry you and have children and grow old with you.” He paused, remembering he had forgotten to breathe, he took a deep breath and focused on his feet.

“When Rin was shot and I saw how desperate Haru became, I thought about what would have happened if it was me. What would have happened if I hurt you like that and I saw something I don’t ever want to see again. I’m gonna get a desk position at the station and get a better pay, we’re gonna get a house and I’m gonna treat you like you deserve.” He swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry as his gaze travellrd back to Makoto’s surprised eyes. “Makoto Tachibana, will you marry me?”

This wasn’t how Sousuke ever thought he’d pop the question. He had wanted it to be grand with a fine dinner, champagne in horse draw carriage on a spring night, he never imagined it like this. He stood in his dirty police uniform with heavy bags under his eyes, he looked like hell, but Makoto was as beautiful as he had ever been. Sure his hair was a mess and he was only wearing Sousuke’s old raggedy sweater, but to Sousuke he was a glowing angel.

“I love you too.” Makoto smiled and cupped the other’s hands with his own. “Of course I’ll marry you.” He whispered as happiness pooled into his sparkling eyes. Sousuke overjoyed and at a loss for words connected their lips in a long gentle hold. He had never known happiness like this. Was this how Rin felt when he thought about his baby to be? Had Rei felt like this when Nagisa proposed to him? Sousuke doubted it. Right now he was the happiest alive.

Sousuke slipped his tongue between Makoto’s lips deepening the kiss as his hands slithered down to cup his ass and pull their crotches together. He swallowed a moan from the brunette who was slowly backing towards the bedroom. When Makoto felt the bed bump against his legs he pushed Sousuke onto the madras and crawled into his lap, kissing and sucking bruises on the taller one’s neck.

“Mako,” he moaned. “It’s morning in a few hours.”

“Please?” Makoto pulled the sweetest and biggest puppy dog eyes he could master and Sousuke was wrapped around his little finger. 

“Anything. Anything for you.” He whispered into his ear sending goose bumps down Makoto’s spine.

He flipped their positions, so Makoto was flat on his back in their bed. Sousuke grinded down onto him which earned him a high-pitched moan.

The sun was still rising outside as the night stars were saying their goodbyes for day. Today was going to be a great day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God it feels good to be back at it agin. Thank you for suggesting some more Soumako in the story, it really pushed me out of my writers blog. If you have ideas please let me hear them ;)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin and Haru get a better grasp at the situation

Haru woke up with a dull ache in his lower back, he wondered how that could be until he remembered what happened last night. Haru was half sitting in a hospital chair and half laying on Rin’s bed. The later was still sleeping, probably still under the effect of the drugs they’d given him last night. 

Haru rose from the chair and stood by his lover’s bed. Hru brushed a strand of hair away from the redhead's sleeping face and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. A small smile played on his lips in his blissful sleep. Haru found himself wondering what he might be dreaming about. Spending time with his dad? Walking on the beach with his childhood dog?

“Haru…” Rin mumbled bringing Haru out of his thoughts. The police officer blinked a few times to get the sleep out of his eyes. 

“Morning.” Haru said his voice filled with warmth, but his face as stoic as ever. Rin had been knocked out a few minutes after his little loving conversation with Haru. He’d only just said thank you to Sousuke before the pills had won and the redhead was off to dreamland. 

The two ravens had never gotten along very well, but that night there had been no petty arguments or silly competitions. They’d just sat in comfortable silence neither of them trying to force a conversation. Both of them lost in their thoughts. It was only when Haru had started snoring that Sousuke realized what time it actually was.

And thus Haru and Rin were alone again, each away in their dreams. 

“How are you?” Rin asked as Haru continued to stroke his crimson locks. 

“I should be asking you that.” Haru said, drawing a slight chuckle from his boyfriend.

“Haru you ran 3 miles in the dead of night and slept in a hospital chair, whilst pregnant.” Haru would probably never understand why Rin was thinking so much about what he could and couldn’t do, he was only 2 months pregnant. Their baby could be mistaken for a big lunch. 

“We’re fine.” He didn’t wanna stress Rin by telling him to stop worrying, but if he tried getting out of bed for next week he would kick his ass. 

A warm smile spread across Rin’s face and a fluttering feeling filled his chest. All he wanted was to get out of this bed and wrap his arms around Haru and never let him go. Every time Rin looked into Haru’s deep sea blue eyes, they were both 9 years old again. Rin fell in love with Haru every time he looked at him.

“Good morning!” They were interrupted by the doctor. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” The doctor chuckled. “Well Mr. Matsuoka you’re in good shape both physically and mentally so you’re gonna be just fine in couple of months. You’ll be discharged from the hospital later today with a schedule for what you can expect to do when, how much work you can do and such. Now, you were only shot in the arm, but I’d advise you to stay in the bed for a week. We’ve prescribed some strong pain meds and some milder ones for you to take when needed. Other than that there isn’t much more either of us can do. Your arm needs rest so you’ll have to wear the sling at all times, else drink plenty of fluids and don’t stress. You need to heal and your body knows best so listen to it when you’re in doubt.” 

He informed them pretty routinely about keeping the stitches clean, on how to lie down and so on. Just before he left he told the couple that a nurse would be up in a couple of hours to see them off. 

“I’ll call Makoto and ask if he can come pick us in the car.” Haru said and pulled out his phone before he walked out into the hall to call his friend. He waited a bit listening to the phone beeping.

“Hi Haru.” The brunette answered after the 5th beep.

“Why are you breathing so hard?” Haru asked bluntly not knowing the brunette’s cheeks grew aflame from the question. 

“N-no reason I-I um…” Makoto stumbled over his words, fumbling in his mind for some kind of excuse. Haru couldn’t help. but roll his eyes.

“Just throw some clothes on and come pick us up at the hospital.” Haru sighed and hung up. He couldn’t talk to Makoto when he was like this. 

In his hospital room Rin was struggling to get his clothes on. Of course he couldn’t go home in his bloodied police uniform, but luckily Sousuke had some sweats in his gym bag in the police car, he’d driven to the hospital in. 

Getting the loose cotton pants on was easy enough, but the t-shirt turned out to be a bit more difficult. He had laid it out on the bed and was now standing in all his shirtless glory, starring at it as if he were working with Quantum mechanics.

Haru came in through the door to find his wounded boyfriend staring at a shirt. He shook his head a little, smiling at the dofus he was spending his life with. The silly thought filled his chest with warmth. 

Haru strolled over to Rin’s side and picked up the zip up hoodie from the gym back. Rin put his left arm in the sleeve before Haru zipped it over his left, still resting in the sling.

“How do you feel?” Haru asked resting his hands on Rin’s chest, feeling his steady heartbeat.

“A little lightheaded, but that’s probably the meds.” Rin his healthy arm around the raven's waist. 

They were both exhausted and wanted nothing more than to just go home and sleep in the safety of each other’s arms. They shared a heartfelt kiss before they were interrupted by a nurse who’d come to escort them out the hospital and answer any questions they might have.

Haru walked behind the nurse carrying the gym bag while Rin was being pushed in a wheelchair. Despite his multiple complaints the nurse had insisted that it was tradition and after that Rin had sucked it up and taken it like a man. A grumpy one, but a man nonetheless.

They exited the hospital just as Makoto’s old fiat pulled up and the couple were quick to jump into back. 

“Oh my Rin are you okay?!” Makoto exclaimed at seeing his friend missing an arm.

“Calm down, it’s under his shirt.” Haru answered coldly. He was tired and just wanted to cuddle up with his boyfriend and sleep for 17 hours. 

Makoto continued to ask a million questions about the whole incident and how long it would take for Rin’s arm to heal. Rin answered them best as he could, but it was Haru who had a better grasp on the situation of the two. 

Makoto parked in front the apartment complex and walked Haru and Rin to their door. He informed Haru that he’d tell their coworkers that something had happened and that Haru had to take a day or two off. Normally Haru would have opposed, but he was too tired to argue and just nodded before he and Rin went inside.

Once inside Haru collected all the pillows in their little home, brought the into their bedroom and built a pillow throne so Rin could sit comfortably in his sleep. 

When Haru was done, he and Rin crawled under the covers, Rin rested against the pillows and Haru lay with his head in the redheads lap. Here they remained conscious only a few seconds before sleep claimed both their minds.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin and Haru hang out with the gang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I just posted a new chapter, I feel inspired, but don't get used to it....

It had been a week since Rin had returned from the hospital and despite numerous complaints, he had been in bed and relaxing his arm the whole time. But now it had been a week and Haru had finally let him leave the confinement of their bedroom.

Today was Saturday, the kindergarten was closed and Sousuke had a work free weekend. Gou had been calling to check up on her big brother and demanded a visit, but Haru had denied every time. He knew how excited the Matsuoks siblings could get around each other and he didn’t want him to get hurt.

Rei and Nagisa had finally come back home, but not without Rei almost having to physically separate his mother and Nagisa. She had just adored Nagisa and Nagisa had loved Rei’s mother as much as his own.

Nagisa had demanded to see Rin immediately after they had heard the news and had been heartbroken to hear of what had happened whilst they had been away. Rei, of course started texting Haru all sorts of remedy and treatment, being the doctor he was.

But now it was Saturday, Rin was finally allowed to walk around and the couple had invited the whole gang over.

Haru embraced Rin from behind and rested his head on the redhead’s healthy side. He had been so scared to do anything wrong and still was. For the last week Haru hadn't touched Rin’s upper body once. All hugs had been to the waist, he had only rested his head on the cops lap. The raven longed for the day Rin would be whole and take him to hold in his strong arms and not let go.

Rin kissed his forehead, telling him to be patient.

“It’s just my arm, you know. The rest of me is fine.” Rin mumbled to Haru in his embrace.

“I want all of you to be fine.” Haru mumbled back, mocking his boyfriend a little. Rin laughed. They were interrupted by a knock on the door before Gou barged in, leaving the door open.

“Onii-chan!!” She ran towards her brother only to stop two foot in front of him, then very lightly she hugged his left arm. She hadn’t gotten all the details about her brother’s condition, so she played it safe.

“Is that all I’m going to get? I’m not made of glass, now hug me.” He teased the younger, but she took his word for it and nearly squished out his lungs. Rin often forgot how strong his little sister actually was. 

“Onii-chan I was so worried.” She swatted his head with the backside of her hand. “How could you?” 

“It’s not my fault I got shot.” Rin pleaded, trying to avoid Gou’s swats. 

It didn’t take long before Sousuke and Makoto arrived, and soon after them Rei and Nagisa came in through the door arguing about something with the flowers for their wedding. Makoto was more than happy to help, he loved weddings. 

Nagisa started crying dramatically and flung his arms around Haru, Rei had told him not to try that with Rin and the blond needed to get his emotions out and so the raven fell victim.

“How was it with your parents?” Makoto asked Rei after Rei had pulled his fiance off the unhappy kindergarten teacher .

“It was wonderful,” Nagisa cut in. “Rei-chan’s mom is a really good cook, even better than Haru-chan.” 

 

In the kitchen Sousuke and Rin put sandwiches on some trays and made lemonade. Rin was rather slow being limited to only one arm and his left one at that. He picked up a knife to begin cutting the sandwiches when Sousuke intervened. 

“Woah, why don’t I take that.” Sousuke took the knife from his best friend. “Go back to the others, I got it.” Rin didn’t argue and joined the others in couch area. 

Rei was naming a bunch of different flowers none of the other had ever heard off. 

“Rei-chan they just have to be white.” Nagisa whined. They had had this conversation a million times already. 

“Nagisa you can’t just say they have to be white, there are roses, lilies, calla lillies-”

“Rei-chan…” Nagisa looked his soon-to-be husband in the eyes seductively, he lifted his hand and let his fingertips slide lightly across Rei’s cheek. “Later.” He then said surely. 

“Well that was weird.” Gou noted. 

They chatted and ate their sandwiches, Makoto and Nagisa were talking about the wedding and cakes, Sousuke, Rei and Rin were talking something about politics and Haru was hearing everything about Gou’s new job. She had gotten a job as an assistant to a swimsuit designer and was very happy about it. 

“Are you okay?” She stopped in the middle of a sentence to ask. “You look tired? I know Onii-chan got hurt, but you don’t have to do everything for him.” She said thinking that that must be the root of the problem. 

“Yeah Haru-chan does look tired.” Nagisa chipped in. Haru looked over at Rin who was already looking at him, he gave a slight nod and Haru knew what he meant. 

“I am a bit tired, because,” he paused, everyone in the room looking at him. “I’m pregnant.” There was silence for a second before everybody started shouting. 

“Rin-chan! Haru-chan! You’re gonna be parents!” Nagisa shouted with so much glee in his voice he might explode. Gou jumped up from the couch to hug her brother and his boyfriend 

“I’m gonna be an aunt.” She was so excited she did a little dance and hugged them again. Makoto and Sousuke shared a look. Maybe next time they meet up they would be the ones to announce something. 

“Congratulations.” Rei said and patted Rin on the back, he wasn’t completely sure why people did this, but his father did the same to his sister’s husband when she had announced that she was pregnant. 

“Mako-chan why aren’t you surprised?” Nagisa asked confused. 

“We already knew.” Makoto referred to him and Sousuke. Nagisa’s spirit almost left his physical body, he shook Haru and demanded to know why he hadn’t been told at the same time. 

The guests stayed for a few hours then slowly they left. Makoto and Sousuke were the first ones to leave. They all hugged and Gou could have sworn she saw Sousuke use his “flirty smirk” when he held the door for Makoto. A little later Rei and Nagisa left. 

Gou stayed for dinner. She loved spending time with them, but her job required that she lived in Tokyo, so she didn’t see them that much anymore. They enjoyed their dinner and talked about the little things, but of course Gou wanted to talk about the baby. 

“What’s the gender?” She was already ready to go out and buy clothes for a currently two months old fetus. A true aunt.

“We don’t know.” Haru said blandly. 

“Eh?! How don’t you know? What did the ultrasound look like?” Rin and Haru looked at each other, confusion all over their faces. 

“We haven’t done an ultrasound yet.” Rin said sheepishly. Gou was shocked. She knew they were both guys, but come on this was pregnancy 101. 

“I went to the doctor to confirm it.” Haru chipped in, as if it might defuse the situation a bit. Gou sighed over dramatically, then pulled out her phone. 

“I send you both a link about birth preparations and a name list over doctors that specialize in male births since their anatomy is different.” Gou did it all in less than a minute. Rin wanted to be shocked, but this was after all what she did for a living. 

After dinner and a few more links and list from Gou, she put on her coat and disappeared out the door. 

Rin put his arm around Haru’s waist and kissed his cheek. The redhead wasn’t sure how, but he managed to convince his boyfriend to leave the clean up to the morning.

After changing into his loose cotton pants that he slept in Rin laid down against his pillow throne. He closed his eyes for just a few seconds before he felt someone heavy sit in his lap. Haru sat in Rin’s lap, but still not touching his upper body.

“I miss you.” Haru said, not meeting Rin’s eyes. He knew what the raven meant with those words. Rin had been there the whole time, but Haru missed Rin’s touch, and despite being together for so long, Haru still wasn’t good at expressing his feelings. 

“I miss you too.” The redhead cupped Haru’s cheek and drew him in for a passionate kiss. The kiss grew more desperate and Rin was slowly slipping. He wanted nothing more than to take Haru in his arms and make love to him all night, images of Haru panting flooded his mind, wrapped in the sheets calling his name, beggin- he broke off the kiss.

“Haru we can’t, the doctor said to wait a month.” It broke Rin’s heart to turn the man he loved so much down when he was so eager himself. Haru sighed and scooted a little further down between Rin’s legs so he could lie against Rin’s chest, but not so far up that he could hurt his arm. 

“I love you Haru.” Rin said as he turned off the lights. 

“I love you too.”

“For ever and ever?” 

“Good night Rin.” 

Haru fell asleep to Rin’s light chuckle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to take a moment to announce that I have a wonderful beta now. Yes the days of horrible grammar and missing words is over!! And it just so happens that they're writting a wonderful Free! and YOI cross over at the moment
> 
> Free on Ice: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10375935/chapters/22918464


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

The apartment looked completely quiet, but thing are not always as they seem. The home looked almost abandoned, but the neighbors could testify to activity taking place there. 

Sousuke often thought about how hard he'd have to thrust before Makoto’s screams broke the sound barrier. Not that the brunette wasn't trying.

When they had just started dating the sex had been gentle, but both males soon learned that they liked it rough. After they agreed to try for a baby their lovemaking, had been that. Love. Light touches, sweet nothings whispered in the late hours. They loved each other and it was obvious to anyone who looked the deep connection in their eyes. 

But after a couple of days gentle sex had become boring sex. And that was how Sousuke found himself behind his fiancé, who was on his hands and knees as the raven fucked him so hard the brunette was moaning incoherently.

“Sou…” Makoto whined “I'm-” He cut himself off with a whimper as Sousuke sped up his thrusts.

“Come for me.” He commanded and slapped Makoto's already abused ass. Makoto came screaming Sousuke’s name. Hearing his name spil from his lovers lips in such a needy voice pushed him over the edge and his body filled with hot white pleasure. He pulled out ad collapsed next to Makoto on the mattress.

Sousuke cuddled Makoto in his arms and kissed his forehead as he combed his fingers through the olive brown locks, his hands travelled down his fiancé’s spine. Sousuke closed his eyes, he’s memorized Makoto’s curves a long time ago, but he could never get enough of him. Every day when he came home and embraced him, he would take a second to appreciate this wonderful man in his arms. The raven’s hands came to a rest and cupped Makoto’s red ass, which made the man hiss.

“Did I hurt you?” He asked worried.

“No.” Makoto nuzzled his face into the crook of his neck. “It was just what I needed.” He assured the taller and kissed his shoulder. 

Makoto wanted a child badly. Since he could imagine he wanted to be a dad. Not only because it would be fun, but also because he wanted that higher level of meaning to his life and he wanted to make the world a better place, just like his partner. Sousuke was a policeman, he kept people safe for a living, and so did Makoto. He worked with the future generations and tried his very best to help the kids be prepared for life. But Makoto wanted his own kid, he wanted a little kid with Sousuke’s shiny dark hair and his own light green eyes. 

“What are you thinking about?” Sousuke mumbled. He had his eyes closed and his nose buried in the brunette’s hair. Whenever they were lying like this Sousuke would shut his eyes and swell in the scent of vanilla soap and apple conditioner, which he had come to connect with his lover.

“What they might look like.” Sousuke could hear the smile in his beloved’s voice. He smiled too, he adored Makoto and if he wanted a kid, no one not even God could prevent Sousuke in giving the brunette one. Not that Sousuke didn’t want a kid, but it wasn’t a due-or-die situation. He would have been fine either way.

“We’ll know soon enough.” They had been trying for weeks now, maybe a month. Sousuke wasn’t sure. Everyone seemed to be doing well. Rei and Nagisa had found a beach perfect for their wedding, Gou was promoted to secretary for the whole sales department, Rin was out of the sling and slowly getting back to work doing paperwork and Haru was growing bigger every day.

Sousuke kissed Makoto’s slightly sticky forehead. They were both covered in sweat and honestly exhausted after the passionate night. The topic disappeared and their eyelids gave up, slowly sailing into a deep sleep. 

*

Sousuke groaned at his alarm clock’s annoying ringtone. He groaned before he opened his eyes and sighed, he hit the off button and rolled over to kiss Makoto good morning, but the bed was empty. The sheets were still warm, so he hadn’t been gone for long. 

“Mako?” He called out. Their apartment was so small the other man was sure to hear him if he was there. When he didn’t answer two thoughts occurred in Sousuke’s head; one positive and one negative. He was worried where the love of his life might be, but he was also hoping to find him hunched over the toilet with happy news. 

“I’m in the kitchen.” The kitchen, Sousuke thought, and the living room and the dining room. He let out another sigh, he wanted to get Makoto out of this crappy place before the kid came. But it seemed that it might take a while before that happened. 

Sousuke reluctantly got out of the bed’s warm grasp and tiredly stumped into the kitchen. Makoto was cutting up bananas for his morning smoothie. The brunette was only dressed in one of Sousuke’s shirts and his hair was a mess. Sousuke hugged him from behind, placing a kiss on the kindergarten teacher’s neck. Makoto leaned into the hug, Sousuke was still warm from being under the covers. God, he just wanted to drag the officer back to bed and stay there all day. But they weren’t teenagers anymore, they had responsibilities now. 

Their morning proceeded like all the others, Makoto made himself a smoothie while Sousuke made coffee. Despite the size of the room they never fell over each other, their actions so in sync and predicting of the other’s. They fit like two puzzle pieces. Sousuke wasn’t a big talker and Makoto was slow to wake up, so they never spoke much in the mornings.

“I think I’m getting a cold.” Makoto said, “You had it and a couple of kids seem to have it too.” Sousuke just nodded, he’d remember to pick up some cold medicine on his way home. He grabbed his keys and kissed Makoto goodbye, then he was out the door and off to work. 

Makoto’s gaze lingered on the door even after Sousuke closed it. He loved that man. He shook his head a bit. He had things to do before work and he better get started. He got dressed, but kept Sousuke’s shirt on. It smelled like his future husband, it made him feel safe and loved. He grabbed his things before he too headed out the door.

*

He took the stairs two at a time. Makoto was in Rin and Haru’s apartment building. He wasn’t sure how to tell Haru that he needed to talk to Rin. Usually Makoto went to Haru with his problems, they were best friends after all. But this time he needed the redhead. Maybe he cou-

“Makoto?” He was interrupted by Rin, who had just turned around the corner and was now standing in front of him. “Did Haru forget his work hours again?” Rin sounded exhausted, but truth was, Haru was very bad at remembering his work hours. 

“No, no.” Makoto laughed awkwardly. “I actually need to talk to you.” His eyes didn’t meet Rin’s. They were fixed on the rug lining the hallway. 

“Why would you need me? Can’t you-“ Then it hit him. “Oh.” Makoto nodded. Rin rubbed his hand at the nape of his neck. 

“I know Sousuke is expecting you at the station, but I need to speak with you.” Makoto looked ashamed. “You’re the only one who knows.” He admitted despite himself. Rin looked at him, shock painted all over his face. He looked back at his front door, they couldn’t talk about it here. Makoto had made him swear to never tell a soul and as a true Matsouka he had kept his word. 

“Did you drive here?” Makoto shook his head. “Let’s take a drive.” Rin suggested. 

*

The air was so thick you could cut it with a steak knife, the silence deafening. Rin told himself he was focusing on driving and that he wanted Makoto to speak first, but he was afraid. Afraid to say anything wrong, harsh or too emotional. He was afraid to say anything. 

“I’m sorry I involved you in this.” Makoto spoke flatly as he stared ahead. 

“Don’t be.” Rin’s hands grabbed the steering wheel harder. “I texted Sousuke the pain was acting up, so I might be in later if ever today.” He needed to assure Makoto as much as he could, even if it was just telling him not to worry about his work attendance. 

“I took a test.” Makoto said whilst fiddling with his fingers. “Actually I took three. All positive.” He dared a little smile, but it faded quickly. 

“That’s amazing.” Rin was relieved. “Congratulations.” He hoped with all his heart that his friends got to experience the happiness he and Haru were going through, then he met his friend’s eyes. The hope crashed. Makoto’s eyes were teary.

“You have to tell Sousuke.” His tone was stern, he shifted his gaze back to the road. 

“I can’t, I can’t tell him how I-“ Makoto’s voice cracked. 

“Then don’t.” Rin couldn’t bare hearing Makoto utter those words again. He swallowed the knot in his throat. “Just tell him you’re pregnant, okay?” 

“Okay.” The brunette sounded absolutely defeated and felt even worse. He hid his face in his hands, tears were streaming down his cheeks. He didn’t even try holding them back. Next to him Rin was holding his look on the road. His knuckles turning white, keeping them tight in place. Rin would never forget that call. Haru had been soaking in the tub and Rin had picked up when his phone went off. 

“You’ll get through this. Just tell him.” Rin offered a smile to his crying friend. It didn’t reach his eyes or his heart, but he hoped Makoto wouldn’t notice. 

“I’ll tell him I’m pregnant.” Makoto sniffled and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “I promise.” He too faked smiled and prayed Rin wouldn’t notice his eyes either. The redhead patted his friend on the shoulder. Neither had any words for the other. 

*

Makoto called in sick that day much to everyone’s surprise, especially Haru’s. He couldn’t go to work today, not after his conversation with Rin. He was exhausted and just wanted to curl up with Sousuke in bed, to feel protected and loved. But he couldn’t. 

After Rin had dropped him off at his apartment he had went to the drugstore on the corner. The lady behind the counter looked at him with a mix confusion and petty. It’s not every day someone comes in with bloodshot eyes and buys five pregnancy tests. He just paid and got out, not even holding the door for an old lady as he left. It only made him feel worse.

He already knew he was pregnant, but some part of him hoped that if he took another test it’d say something different. But nothing changed. He stared at them as he lay on them counter. All five were positive. 

A war of emotions raged inside the kind kindergarten teacher. He wanted a child so bad and he loved Sousuke so much, but what if-

“Mako, I’m home.” Sousuke. “Why are you wearing my pajamas? And why are you crying?” He was immediately at his fiancé’s side, pulling him into a protective hug. He felt warm tears fall on his shoulder. Then he saw what was on the counter. Lined up in a neat row. He pulled back to look Makoto in the eyes.

“I’m pregnant.”


	11. Chapter 11

How long had he been sitting in this chair? Five hours, maybe six. It certainly felt like it. He couldn’t move. Couldn’t think. Actually that was a lie, his mind was racing. He ran his hands through the ebony locks. He didn’t have a clue what was happening. What happened? Where was Makoto?

*

“I love you.” Sousuke whispered in Makoto’s ear. He had been happier over the news then he had expected. Now that Makoto was finally pregnant, he knew he wanted this child just as much as his fiancé did.

They were lying in their bed. Sousuke spooning Makoto with a hand on his lower stomach protectively.

“I love you too.” Makoto turned to look his love in the eyes. The light teal of Sousuke’s eyes was so comforting, like he was wrapped in a safety blanket and nothing bad could reach him. Maybe he could do this after all. They were barely touching except for their intertwined hands. The darkness painting the room with long shadows as the light slowly faded. Swept in silence neither said a word, they would only be a burden. 

Makoto cupped Sousuke’s face. He stroked his thumb across his cheek slowly. The brunette wanted to tell him, but he couldn’t do that to the man he loved. He would never know that kind of pain. Makoto wouldn’t let him. 

“Are you okay?” Sousuke asked quietly, breaking the silence. “You looked sad just now.”

“I’m just a little tired.” Makoto retracted his hand, but Sousuke grabbed his wrist holding him in place. Makoto knew Sousuke could tell when he was lying. 

Makoto sat up in bed and held his arm to his chest. Why did it hurt so much again? It was almost two years ago. Back then, it had hurt like a bitch too, but this time, hurt differently. 

Back then, the pain had been raw and sharp, a burning wound in his gut. This time, it was dull ache in his chest. He looked down at Sousuke. He was staring at him with worry painted deep in his clear eyes. Makoto never told him. How could he? This wasn’t something you could say over dinner, or casually bring up during a movie on the couch. 

“Mako?” Sousuke had a hand on his shoulder. Makoto hadn’t even noticed the raven had sat up. He buried his head under Sousuke’s chin and pushed them both down on the bed again. Sousuke held him close, afraid that if he let go Makoto would crumble into dust and fly away on the eastern wind. 

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled into the officer’s chest. Sousuke could feel little warm drops fall from Makoto’s eyes. He stroked his hair gently. 

“It’s a lot to take in.” Sousuke was worried. The brunette had always wanted a child, as long as they had been together. Maybe he hadn’t realized how much their lives were going to change? Did he not know how to go through it? But Makoto had Sousuke and their best friends were expecting too. Makoto wasn’t alone in this. 

Little by little Makoto stopped crying, Sousuke thought that he might be feeling a little bit better. That was until he noticed how deep the kindergarten teacher’s breaths were and realized he’d fallen asleep. 

*

They didn’t talk about that night. They pretended it hadn’t happened and went on with their lives, well, as much as they could. Makoto had announced his pregnancy to the world, after some persuasion from Sousuke, who wanted every man, woman and child to know about their unborn baby. Haru, had in all his Haru-ness puffed and asked Makoto why in the world he would voluntarily be pregnant. Ever since he had passed his first trimester, Haru had been grumpier than usual. Rin, however, was not complaining since it turned out Haru was one of those types to get super horny in his second trimester. 

There had been many worried texts between Makoto and Rin, but they became fewer and further between after Makoto passed the two-month mark. Makoto had finally begun to be being excited and giggled every time Sousuke covered his stomach in kisses. 

Everything seemed to be going well, until one afternoon when Sousuke got a call. 

It was a Tuesday, the sky was grey and Sousuke was in the office. He was filing a repot for a collogue, when his phone had rang. He thought it was Makoto asking him to buy some ice cream on his way home since the brunette had been craving it lately. He fished the phone out his pocket, but Makoto’s number wasn’t on the caller id. He thought about not answering it, but decided against it. 

“Hello?” 

“Sousuke Yamazaki?” The lady on the other line asked.

“Yes, this is he.” Was this some bullshit sales person? 

“You are listed as emergency contact to a Makoto Tachibana. There has been an incident.” 

Everything froze. Sousuke couldn’t hear over his beating heart threatening to burst out of his chest. His arm fell slack by his side as he stared out in the empty air. Then he ran. He sprinted out of the office, past the desks and through information to his car outside. He threw the door open and put the keys in the ignition. It didn’t start. He tried again. Again, he failed. He breathed hard with rage and hit the control panel, somehow staring the car. 

He kept tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. It took every ounce of strengths in his body not to speed through town with 90 miles per hour. Was Makoto okay? The lady had just said an incident, right? Maybe he just witnessed something, right? That could happen, Sousuke reassured himself. Yeah, nothing was wrong.

He doubled parked in the parking lot when he finally found a place to ditch the car. He immediately slammed the door and ran, thanking whoever invented control car locks. When he got to the front desk, he found his voice was suddenly gone. 

“Can I help you?” The nurse behind the desk asked a bit confused to the tall man panting in front of her.

“Ma-Makoto” He swallowed. “Tachibana, please.” 

“Oh.” Her face saddened. Why did Makoto’s name make her sad? “He’s up on intensive, room 6.” 

What was he doing there? He just witnessed something. Sousuke kept telling himself that lie, repeatedly in his head. The closer he got to room 6 however, it lost credibility. He stopped in front of the closed door. A plain wooden door with a silver plague that read “room 6”. The only thing between himself and the man he loved. The distance seemed wider than any ocean on the planet. His hands were shaking as he reached for the handle. He drew in a sharp breath and braced himself for what might come and cracked the door open. 

The room was dark. The only light was coming from the late October afternoon outside. He looked around the room expecting the worst when he saw him. There he was. Makoto was lying in bed with his back to the door. Sousuke couldn’t see any band aids, gauze or even scratches and thanked the gods. But something was still off. 

The room felt heavy with sorrow. Rain started hitting the windows, making the room even darker. He took a step forward. Then another. Until he was standing over Makoto’s bed. The brunette had his knees drawn to his chest. His were open, but he didn’t seem awake. 

“Mako?” Sousuke tried to ask as gently as he could. His whole body was shaking, but he needed to be strong now. He sat on the bed next to Makoto, asking his name again. 

“I lost it.” There must have been another person in the room. The voice didn’t sound like Makoto at all. No. Makoto’s voice sounded like sunshine, flowers on a grassy hill, home. This voice was empty and broken. “I lost it.” It repeated. This time in a blunt, almost not caring tone. 

“No, but-“ Ice ran through Sousuke’s veins. “No.” His voice was firm. “We were gonna buy a house and have a kid with my hair and your eyes and we were gonna be so happy. So ridiculously happy!” He got up and started pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair at a stressing speed. He couldn’t wrap his head around it. Two months ago, he wasn’t even sure he wanted a kid. But he fell in love with the thought. Assembling a crib, Makoto with a big stomach complaining about stretch marks. A little kid he could teach to throw a ball. How did it happen? Was Makoto okay? Why wasn’t he saying anything? 

“Mako?” Sousuke went around to the other side of the bed and kneeled in front of Makoto, who was chewing his nails. He took the hand and gently kissed it. Makoto didn’t seem to notice. “Why aren’t you saying anything? What aren’t you telling me?” 

“I’m sorry.” Tears dwelling in his eyes, tears fell like heavy rain. “I’m sorry. It happened again. I’m sorry.” He kept saying ‘it happened again’ over and over, until he was sobbing. Sousuke crawled in bed with him and held his sobbing fiancé. 

It happened again. The words played over in Sousuke’s mind like a broken record. But Makoto hadn’t been pregnant before. He hadn’t been with anyone before Sousuke and he would have told him if he was pregnant. They loved each other, unless... it had happened before they loved each other. 

“Makoto what do you mean ‘it happened again’?” He drew away from his crying love. He sniffled and dried his eyes, despite the tears still falling. 

“I’ve lost a child before.” He couldn’t look Sousuke in the eyes. The shame was too big. “I wanted to tell you, but we’d only been dating for two months and after 7 weeks I lost it.” His breathing started getting hitched. “And now I lost this one too.” He broke after that, back to sobbing over Sousuke’s shoulder, breathing in small hurried breaths. 

Sousuke felt everything Makoto did. The thought of Makoto going through this alone was a dagger through his heart. He hugged him closer to his chest. He had sworn to fulfill Makoto’s wish of a child and now he knew he too had failed. He bit his lower lip. How could he have let this happen? There must have been warning signs? 

Sousuke lay down in bed with Makoto’s head on his chest. He could barely see him in the darkness, but he knew the look in his eyes. It was the love of his life, beaten and broken from life, nothing but ache and pain were in his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to take his pain away, to see his happy smiling Makoto again. He wanted him to nag at him because he didn’t do the dishes or forgot to change the batteries in the smoke detector. His Makoto was right here, but instead of happy and smiling, he had a second miscarriage and a hole in his heart.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back, back again?

At around 8 in the evening Rin’s phone rang. It lay on the gray counter top in the kitchen, it almost went unnoticed. Haru was currently in the bathtub, water was all over the floor because he still hadn’t gotten used to his larger mass, and Rin was napping on the couch. He had just gotten off the phone with Gou, he had thrown his phone on counter, finally done talking about Gou’s date with some guy. He loved his sister, but god, she was just gonna dump him in a month when she got too busy again. 

Rin sighed heavily and got up to answer the phone.

“Gou just wear the green-“

“Makoto had a miscarriage.” Sousuke.

“Oh God, Sousuke I-I’m so sorry…” He was stumped, his hand curled into a tight fist. “How-how is Makoto?” Rin knew he should ask Sousuke how he was, but he knew that the man would only tell him a little of how he actually felt. 

“He isn’t. He’s just a shell Rin. He doesn’t even sound like himself, he’s just laying there and when I try to ask him anything he starts crying. I don’t know what to do.” Sousuke was completely beside himself, Makoto was a mess of emotions, but how did he feel? God he hadn’t even had time to think about how he felt. 

“Rin who are you talking to?” Haru stood in the doorway in his pajamas, the small water drops in his hair shone in the kitchen light. He was beautiful. 

“Sousuke.” Rin lingered. Should he tell Haru? How much should he tell him? What if Haru got in his head about it? What if Rin got in his head about it? 

“Makoto had a miscarriage.” He heard himself say. Haru’s face dropped immediately. 

“What?” His voice was small and unclear. 

“Souske,” Rin directed his attention to the phone again. “Can we come see you?” The line went silent for a long time. 

“Tomorrow.” Sousuke stated firmly. “I- we need time.” Then he hung up.

Rin gently put the phone back on the counter before he turned to Haru. Neither said a word as they held each other, needing a safe place after the gruesome news they had just received. 

Haru’s skin was soft and warm from his bath, he smelled like the citrus shampoo they both used. There wasn’t even a trace of chlorine in his scent anymore. He would have to take him swimming soon or his boyfriend would go insane. 

Rin missed the easy days of high school, back when the hardest problem in their lives was who would win the next race. He used to drag Haru behind the clubhouse after their joint practices to make out in secret. 

He missed the more simple times when they could just be happy without worries. But now gunshot and miscarriages were part of their lives, and they didn’t know how to cope with it.   
“We’ll go see them tomorrow.” Rin said, letting go of Haru. He nodded coyly; he didn’t know what to say. He wanted to know if his friend was going to okay, he worried. 

They didn’t talk anymore that night. They just went to bed and lay in silence. The busy street outside their window couldn’t reach their thoughts. Loud, scared, worried, angry. Rin held Haru a little tighter that night. What if it happened to them? He would fall apart if that ever happened. But what about Haru? How would the raven react? He had gotten better at letting his feelings show, but he was still so closed off to anyone other than Rin and Makoto. 

Haru felt Rin hug him, an arm protectively curled around his stomach. Only 4 months left to go, he thought, 4 months and their baby would be there. They should get a new apartment or maybe a house? They could move back into Haru’s old house, they rented out when they moved to study in Tokyo. 

His thoughts moved to Makoto. How could he deal with this? He’d wanted to be a dad his whole life, he worked with kids and Haru… he was pregnant. How would he feel when he saw him? He would be a permanent reminder of what Makoto had lost. Haru wanted to see his best friend, wanted to be there to comfort him, but what if the other got even more upset? Haru just wanted his best friend to be happy. 

 

*

 

Sousuke woke up alone in Makoto’s hospital bed. The sheets were cool. Sousuke immediately got out of bed, a feeling of cold dread sat heavily in his stomach. He hadn’t let Makoto out of his sight since he got to the hospital yesterday, scared of anything that might happen. 

Last night when he had talked to the doctor, he told Sousuke about all the things people do after a miscarriage, suicide being on the top of the list. He ran out of the room looking for his fiancé. The nurses gave him strange looks as he ran around the hospital like a maniac, some yelled at him when he bumped into them. 

“Makoto.” He called out for the brunette. His heart beating hard in his chest. What if he had hurt himself? Makoto wouldn’t kill himself right? It had happened before. But what if this pushed him over the edge? His chest hurt. 

“Makoto!” He yelled again. But no one answered him. He stopped in the lobby to catch his breath. If he didn’t he would surely pass out. The officer looked around after his lover, then he saw it. Of course, he thought. He used every bit of energy he had left in him to get up. 

He had only one destination in mind. He took a sharp left and ran past the hallway sign reading “Nursery”. 

Sousuke fell to his knees. The sight he was met by broke his heart. Makoto was standing by the glass window to the room with new born babies. A small, sad smile tugged at the kindergarten teacher’s lips, he had a single hand pressed against the glass. Reaching out, longing after what he had lost, what he’d never experience. 

“I’m sorry.” Makoto whispered, still not taking his eyes of the glass. Sousuke was still trying to catch his breath, his pulse banging in his ears, but he couldn’t believe his ears. He must have heard it wrong. Why would Makoto be the one to be sorry?   
“What?” He looked up at Makoto, who still didn’t meet his eyes. He stumbled to his feet. “Makoto.” He couldn’t get his attention. 

“I’m sorry.” It was all he said, like a broken record. Sousuke graphed him by the shoulders, as if to pull him back to reality.

“It’s not your fault. Why won’t you listen to me?!” He couldn’t help but yell. He felt such deep sorrow and anger. He was furious at Makoto, how could he even dare to think this was his fault? And sad because …. because he lost his kids too. One he didn’t even know existed, and one he couldn’t wait to hold in his arms. At night he used to think about holding their kid. What they’d name them, what they’d be good at, if they’d look like him. 

He held Makoto firmly by the shoulders forcing him to look at him. Makoto eyes looked like glass, like they weren’t there. 

“I’m sorry.” He kept saying it. Sousuke wanted to tear his hair out, to shout and yell at him, he wanted to be angry, but he also just wanted to take Makoto in his arms and cry his eyes out. He wanted to sob his eyes out and be sad. Sousuke pulled his fiancé into a hug.

“I’m so sorry Mako, I couldn’t protect you.” He cried, small drops falling onto Makoto’s shoulder. 

“What are you talking about?” He finally spoke. He was chocked. Sousuke never cried, unlike his redheaded best friend. Sousuke was stoic, he didn’t show much emotion and he did not cry.

“I couldn’t protect you.” He sobbed. “You lost two children and couldn’t protect you.” He was shaking now, riddled with grief and pain. “I wanted it so bad.” He continued. “I know I didn’t say it a lot, but I wanted it so fucking badly, Mako.” He his lover closer, afraid he’d lose him too if he let him go. 

“It’s not your fault.” Makoto whispered. “It’s all my fault.”

“It’s not Mako, it’s not your fault. I didn’t prote-“

“I knew I was infertile.” Makoto said with no feeling, like he was possessed by death himself. “They told me last time, but when I got pregnant I- I don’t know… I thought maybe they were wrong and I could do it, but I- I lost it.” Sousuke couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He pulled his head off Makoto’s shoulder; both males had red, puffy eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sousuke felt hurt. Didn’t Makoto trust him? It ached that to know Makoto had been going through this all alone.

“I didn’t want you to leave. We had just started dating and I liked you so much and I didn’t want to scare you away.” Makoto sniffled, his throat was aching from crying and he could barely breathe. 

“I would never leave you.” Sousuke demanded Makoto’s eye contact with a finger under his chin. “I love you so much Mako, I would never leave you.”

“But I can’t have babies.” His voice breaking under the lump in his throat. 

“We can adopt.” Sousuke gave his fiancé a sad smile. “I don’t care if they look like us because they’ll be OUR kid. You and I will raise them with love and understanding, just like we would our own. And we’ll love them just as much.” He whipped a tear from Makoto’s cheek. “I love you Mako.”  
“I love too Sou.” Makoto finally smiled. He laughed and cried at the same time, at a time most happy in his life, he felt the deepest sorrow. “I’d - I’d like that.” He nodded.

Sousuke pulled him into a loving kiss. He took Makoto by the hand and let him back to their hospital room. He hugged him closed as they walked down the halls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long, I honeslty have no idea what this is, but I do take suggestions


End file.
